time machine

what did i get myself into? i have people screaming at me from all different corners. but who do i listen to? myself?
no. that wont work. my thoughts are a combination of every scream. and how would that work. if each scream is arguing with one another? oh yeah. it doesnt.
so really what am i doing. i should get out of this situation. but i cant. there is no escape. it is almost impossible. maybe every chance i get i change my mind. i dont know. i havent noticed. so far i havent seen a chance to escape.
i really just am lost? and everyday i get no answers for myself. just more questions. more things to deal with. but whattheheck. everyone lives with problems and unanswered questions. its just life. so why the heck am i complaining? there is no reason to. so i should just suck it up. my life will never be perfect. no one's is. i need to stop complaining. this is ridiculous. but i just wish i just wish. one wish. and that wish is the wish i will be wishing every 11:11(maybe lol.) even though i know it can NEVER happen.
i just wish.
for a

...time machine...

please.
-jessiewang.

thinking

wow i am weak. i cant take it. and it is no use trying to avoid it. trying to ignore it. i dont know if you read my previous blog. but i cant help but say i am sorry. i really am. no matter how hard i try to ignore the fact. or avoid thinking about it, it always comes back. it seems like the incident is following me. everywhere i turn i am thinking about.
i saw a persimmon. i heard the song. i did something stupid again. and i have no one to tell. i can only keep it to myself. crying inside. but hiding it outside. these blogs must mean nothing to you. and i am okay with that. i just want YOU to know how i feel. how sorry i am. how much i regret what i did. i just am sorry. and everytime something pops up...
i cant help...

...thinking...

about it.

song: sorry-buckcherry.
sorry sorry-super junior. ;]
-jessiewang.

karma?

its wierd how i kinda sorta just read about this. but this situation is different.
and boy, i am sorry. i really am.
i am sorry that i flipped out like that. that you were just speaking your mind. and what could i do about that? just nothing. i didnt mean to blame it on you. its partially my fault too.
and i know you dont believe what i told you a couple of days ago. but i really meant it. i don't. i really don't. i changed my mind. you know i wouldnt lie to you about. it just isnt something to lie about..well maybe it is to some people but i am not lying to you. i seriously mean it. i changed my mind. but its like everytime i try to go somewhere, ________ follows. what can i say? and you just catch me at the wrong time. i would never lie to you. NEVER. why do you think i told you?
i trust you. i really do. i trust that you wont tell anyone.
yes. i handled that situation HORRIBLY. and i wish i could take it back but i cant. i simply just ignored you. and why? you dont deserve that. in fact i'd be surprised if talked to me soon. well i hope you do cause i'd really miss talking to you. i was an idiot yes. but everyone asking me the same question always bringing it up. it just fustrates me. and im sorry that you were the one i took it out on.:[
no one is perfect i know. especially me. im far from that. i wouldnt want our friendship to end in this way. because of that. that would be stupid. and all my fault.
i just hope you can forgive me. that is my one and only wish.
i truly am sorry.
and happy TWLOHA day :P
sorry i was editing it. and i got lazy. so if some stuff doesnt fit in and doesnt make sense. im sorry. again. but you're smart :] i know you'll understand :]

...karma... its part of life.

-jessiewang

HOMECOMING

so yesterday was homecoming. on the queen mary. you jealous? ;] jk. yeah but we got there like 3 hours late. and it was a 4 hour dance LOL. fail. but it was still fun. and we took pictures. but my smile is the most retarded thing ever that it ruined it. and now im sad. :[ well not now. i guess im over it. but when people see it, their eyes will break. if eyes could break. good experience :)<--thats a really random place to put taht. yes. okay. continuing.

so i should be doing homework right now. but im blogging instead and talking on aim. :] and i dont know what else to say.
yes. i think that is all. haha this blog sucks.
anyways. no school on wednesday woot! :D okay well i think i am going to go now. yes. i am.
okay. yes. bye. :]


...homecoming...

-jessiewang.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D

10/31/09 <3

happy halloween everyone :D even though it was..yesterday.

HAPPY NOVEMBER! :]

so anyways yesterday was super fun! :D letsee...

played tennis. ate lunch, cleaned my house. JULIET comes over and we go to brea mall :]

yes juliet helped me pick out my homecoming dress which is black and silver.

i dont know why im using so many colors. :P but its fun.

anyways. i see my friend ashley :D HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! :)

then....we go to my house. me juliet and crystal dress up at burritos and we go trick-or-treating with: mazie wong. edward woo. sara fuentes. shireen cheng. timothy tran and little brothers. and alan kuo. :] yes. fun night!

then we go to chipotle for our burritos. and we make our way to mazies casa. :]

and then! we go to alans house. which btw is HUGE. i wish i could live there.

i think thats all. :O yes. but taht was a super fun night. :D

...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!...

-jessiewang