2010

two-thousand and TEN. is just around the bend.
actually:
its tomorrow. and today is the last day of 2009. yes it is. how sad. not. well fine maybe.
i still need a new years resolution. hopefully i'll find one. but i love new years.
a time to start over. COMPLETELY. :]
i dont really know what to talk about. so i guess short blog today :]
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE! :D have a good time withyour family.

...2010... :D

love,
jessiewang

IT happens

i read my previous blogs. and it made me pretty depressed so i told myself that i'd never write a blog so emo or whatever again. but that didnt work. hopefully this will be my last.
i'll start off on a good note though. MERRY CHRISTMAS everybody :] hope you had a good one. as for me, i was at las vegas. getting fat off of the buffets but it was nice spending time with the family and friends :) and hope you'll have a good new year too! :D anyways. i have a feeling this blog will be very long.
i guess theres just so much to say but im too lazy to type it. yeah. i feel i should write another blog just on what i am about to say becuase this one started off to happy. anyways...
if you read my previous blogs.. yeah well i finally figured myself out these last couple days. maybe it was for the better or maybe not. who really knows. i dont. oh. and i finally got the guts to share but i guess that wasnt so smart. or maybe i shared to the wrong person. but that doesnt matter anymore. the word is out and i can no longer hide it within myself. i mean someone knows. and maybe that person shouldnt have.
over this year. 2009. i gone through many things as i assume you have too. a lot of it..i regret. but what can i do about it? nothing. so i just have to learn to deal with it. one experience in particular has left me...just...i dont know. its a new experience. one ive never had to deal with before. but on the bright side, im glad its over. you make a lot of sacrifices for some people. you never tell them. they never know. and so they will never appreciate it. but what if you did tell them. would things change? who cares. im glad though....i can start 2010 brand new. i dont have to carry old problems with me. i'll just find new problems and deal with them. :] as for this particular experience/problem whatever. ive decided to just forget about it. i mean what i told this person...theres no more to say. DONE. over. i have no more to say. i should just get rid of anything that is related to YOU. you know who you are. but i wont do that because thats just messed up. and im not mad or anything. just that i wasted the last....i dont know about..4 months trying to figure out about myself for nothing. but as i said. im glad im done with that.
so i thought this blog would be pretty long. but i dont know what else to say. so i guess thats all. lol.
things in life suck. but hey,

...it happens...

songinthought: When We Say(Juicebox)-AJ Rafael :] <--i love that song
so i found some quotes: "I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference. " "You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them."
-jessiewang

time machine

what did i get myself into? i have people screaming at me from all different corners. but who do i listen to? myself?
no. that wont work. my thoughts are a combination of every scream. and how would that work. if each scream is arguing with one another? oh yeah. it doesnt.
so really what am i doing. i should get out of this situation. but i cant. there is no escape. it is almost impossible. maybe every chance i get i change my mind. i dont know. i havent noticed. so far i havent seen a chance to escape.
i really just am lost? and everyday i get no answers for myself. just more questions. more things to deal with. but whattheheck. everyone lives with problems and unanswered questions. its just life. so why the heck am i complaining? there is no reason to. so i should just suck it up. my life will never be perfect. no one's is. i need to stop complaining. this is ridiculous. but i just wish i just wish. one wish. and that wish is the wish i will be wishing every 11:11(maybe lol.) even though i know it can NEVER happen.
i just wish.
for a

...time machine...

please.
-jessiewang.

thinking

wow i am weak. i cant take it. and it is no use trying to avoid it. trying to ignore it. i dont know if you read my previous blog. but i cant help but say i am sorry. i really am. no matter how hard i try to ignore the fact. or avoid thinking about it, it always comes back. it seems like the incident is following me. everywhere i turn i am thinking about.
i saw a persimmon. i heard the song. i did something stupid again. and i have no one to tell. i can only keep it to myself. crying inside. but hiding it outside. these blogs must mean nothing to you. and i am okay with that. i just want YOU to know how i feel. how sorry i am. how much i regret what i did. i just am sorry. and everytime something pops up...
i cant help...

...thinking...

about it.

song: sorry-buckcherry.
sorry sorry-super junior. ;]
-jessiewang.

karma?

its wierd how i kinda sorta just read about this. but this situation is different.
and boy, i am sorry. i really am.
i am sorry that i flipped out like that. that you were just speaking your mind. and what could i do about that? just nothing. i didnt mean to blame it on you. its partially my fault too.
and i know you dont believe what i told you a couple of days ago. but i really meant it. i don't. i really don't. i changed my mind. you know i wouldnt lie to you about. it just isnt something to lie about..well maybe it is to some people but i am not lying to you. i seriously mean it. i changed my mind. but its like everytime i try to go somewhere, ________ follows. what can i say? and you just catch me at the wrong time. i would never lie to you. NEVER. why do you think i told you?
i trust you. i really do. i trust that you wont tell anyone.
yes. i handled that situation HORRIBLY. and i wish i could take it back but i cant. i simply just ignored you. and why? you dont deserve that. in fact i'd be surprised if talked to me soon. well i hope you do cause i'd really miss talking to you. i was an idiot yes. but everyone asking me the same question always bringing it up. it just fustrates me. and im sorry that you were the one i took it out on.:[
no one is perfect i know. especially me. im far from that. i wouldnt want our friendship to end in this way. because of that. that would be stupid. and all my fault.
i just hope you can forgive me. that is my one and only wish.
i truly am sorry.
and happy TWLOHA day :P
sorry i was editing it. and i got lazy. so if some stuff doesnt fit in and doesnt make sense. im sorry. again. but you're smart :] i know you'll understand :]

...karma... its part of life.

-jessiewang

HOMECOMING

so yesterday was homecoming. on the queen mary. you jealous? ;] jk. yeah but we got there like 3 hours late. and it was a 4 hour dance LOL. fail. but it was still fun. and we took pictures. but my smile is the most retarded thing ever that it ruined it. and now im sad. :[ well not now. i guess im over it. but when people see it, their eyes will break. if eyes could break. good experience :)<--thats a really random place to put taht. yes. okay. continuing.

so i should be doing homework right now. but im blogging instead and talking on aim. :] and i dont know what else to say.
yes. i think that is all. haha this blog sucks.
anyways. no school on wednesday woot! :D okay well i think i am going to go now. yes. i am.
okay. yes. bye. :]


...homecoming...

-jessiewang.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D

10/31/09 <3

happy halloween everyone :D even though it was..yesterday.

HAPPY NOVEMBER! :]

so anyways yesterday was super fun! :D letsee...

played tennis. ate lunch, cleaned my house. JULIET comes over and we go to brea mall :]

yes juliet helped me pick out my homecoming dress which is black and silver.

i dont know why im using so many colors. :P but its fun.

anyways. i see my friend ashley :D HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! :)

then....we go to my house. me juliet and crystal dress up at burritos and we go trick-or-treating with: mazie wong. edward woo. sara fuentes. shireen cheng. timothy tran and little brothers. and alan kuo. :] yes. fun night!

then we go to chipotle for our burritos. and we make our way to mazies casa. :]

and then! we go to alans house. which btw is HUGE. i wish i could live there.

i think thats all. :O yes. but taht was a super fun night. :D

...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!...

-jessiewang

LORD

wow. today wow. well lets start off
i thought this week would be a bad week. but boy! was i wrong. turns out going pretty well. mmhmm.
I MADE CLAREMONT YOUTH MUSICIANS ORCHESTRA! :D
this means: i get an iphone noww! :D and a new acoustieee :]] this week couldnt be better and now i have an orthodontist tomorrow.
and im supposedly getting my braces off! :D woohooo! this week really cant get any better :]
haha and tennis game on thursday. home game. why dont ya come? or dont. dont watch me because i suck. :[ yeahh thats pretty much it.
schools not very interesting... so theres nothing to say.
OMG! i have a twin :D shes the cooliest. :)
alrightsss thats all. :D
oh btw. juan martin del potro beat federer in usopen finals. he is soo hot. :D and clijsters takes the title homee back to her baby :D good job wozniacki i love you. :] you too are my hero.

....Thank-You Lord....
i love you. you are my all time hero.
Love,
Jessiewang. <3

US OPEN

wow. well i can just tell you now. the US Open is almost over. lol.
i blog when its over. haha fail? anyways this year is great. american domination on the girls side. sadly andy roddick didnt make it to far :'[ and sharapova after coming back from a years break did good. but lost. i think 4th round? :O
yes. well school has started.
for a week now.
this is the 2nd. :P
i guess i could say its alright... kinda boring. kinda fun. kinda just whatever.
i have a feeling high school is going to be a real challenge. im slacking off soo bad. not ready for summer to end yet i guess. ohes wellss.
byebyee.

...us open... :D

-jessiewang

varsity

so today was the last day of tennis tryouts.
it went bad. for me. but the good news is. i made varsity.
i dont even know how. and i dont even know why. but i got lucky.
argh. some other people shouldve made varsity instead of me. ugh.
well at least its over.
so now all i have is school. oh and i have to practice oboe 24/7 now. woohoo. splendid.
cant wait.
i would post my schedule but no. i dont think you even need to know it anyways so its okay.
alright well i have practice tomorrow :[] at 8 am. yeah okay. well im gonna go now byee.
yay i made:

...varsity...
-jessiewang.

chops

well letsee. school starts on the 31st.
tennis tryouts... : tomorrow.
cymo auditions... : 9/3/09
so many things. so little time.
im freaking out.
ahhh tennis tryouts tomorrow. wow. really want to make varsity but the possibility of that is... 0.
cymo auditions. super hard. yay i got my excerpts but boo they're hard. wtff. sigh. everything is coming too soon whyyy
schools starting. eh.
thats all.. haha
a boring blog. oh well they all are. :/

...oh chops....

-jessiewang.

biking.

today,
well i arrived in taiwan a couple days ago.
well yeah.
and i went biking...not today but yeah
anyways it was a 2 person bike. pretty intense.
yeah and we were driving on the streeet or biking whatever.
and i was super tired. and it was super humid so i was sweating the entire time.

...august 10:
i never finished the blog. so i'll finish here. well i got back from taiwan yesterday. yes. and letsee there was a typhoon. mmhm. well taiwan was fun. but now ive got to focus. tennis and oboe for the rest of the summer. :D
woohoo.
yes alright okay. this was a bad blog like all others. :P

byebyee

im leaving tomorrow
for taiwan! :D
yay
umm. i dont know what to say.
well i started packing today. and i finished packing today. :D
what an accomplishment
yeahh 13 hour flight. xp
flight at 5...i think.
i'll keep you updated. i hope. i think.
i'm not sure. lol
okay well bye.

...byebyee...

-jessiewang

karaoke.

Today,
i went karaokeing. for the first time. :D
its fun.
thenn i went to life plaza and THEN i went to a friends house to watch F.O. hahah hilarious.
i like to karaoke. you should come with me next time.
on wednesday i am leaving for taiwan, and i wont come back for about 3 weeks.
not like you care lol.
just saying.
yeah taiwan thats fun. its hot and humid there and i expect to get a gazillion mosquito bites. UGH. but its fun ahah so i guess its worth it?
i havent started packing yet but i think i should
when i come back ima suck at tennis. :P
that sucks.
tryouts are soon. i hope to make the team.
yeah
i'll keep you updated. maybe haha.
whatever.

go karaokeing with me next time yeah?
follow me too hmm?

...karaoke...

-jessiewang

one day.

dang summer school is over. like tomorrow :D
im soo happy :]
but its been funn.
hoping to go to knotts over the summer.
and taiwan.
and maybe karaoke.
maybe even bbgunning or paintballing.
will i die out there lol?

i like making smoothies.
they're SCRUMPTIOUS.
or at least i think so. a combo of ice cream milk ice and strawberries. sound good?
i'll make you some next time :)

i think i blog too much. and about nothing.
and i dont even know if anyone reads this.
so im basically wasting my time. WTF.
ahah
but i think its kinda fun.
you should try.
i think im writing a lot.
actually i think a lot of thing. ... i think i talk to myself through blogging. thats kinda... LAME.
tartar sauce. i should stop. OKAY.
bye.

...one day... ....left :D

-jessiewang

wimbledon

tennis.
i love tennis.
it is my current obsession even though i suck. is that good? haha. well, i dont know.
:P
well anyways this year in wimbledon is like total american domination. :D
woot!
well and a swiss which he is amazing.
but yeah you should watch. actually its almost over.
ANYWAYS:
summer school. i hate it. i mean its kinda fun. EXCEPT all the work we have. :[ poo.
i had a b+ in that class. :O until a test saved me and gave me an A. PHEW.
lifesaver.
wow. i suck at writing blogs. oh.
yeah.
tennis and basketball camp. its really hot this summer.
tomorrow is 4th of July!
yay!
should i do band? i dont know. help me decide yeah?

...Wimbledon...

-Jessiewang

MJ.

August 19, 1958-June 25, 2009.
Michael Jackson.
you were truly and inspiration. you ARE an inspiration.
I know people have been so messed up by giving you racists jokes just because you went from black to getting plastic surgery and changing your skin color. and also that you got plastic surgery on your nose because your father used to call you "Big Nose."
You've been through tough times. Many of us can relate.
You're AMAZING impossible to do moonwalk. and your top of the chart songs like thriller, billie jean, beat it, and black and white.
you really ARE the King of Pop.
your music is indescribable.
we will NEVER forget you. <3
...MJ....

-Jessiewang

five.

today is wednesday. i end school next wednesday. only five more school days of school. hahaha. nothing interesting has happened. im watching this show. called worlds strongest toddlers. and theres this little boy named liam with a 6 pack. wtf. i wish i had a six pack... or at least abs. i just drank a slurpee. yum. my text is running out and i still have 5 days to go... DARN. oh well.
this blog it pretty boring. i am going to my school's dance. and yes. i will wear a dress. are you people happy now?
i have no viewers in my blog. tell your friends. or not. i dont really care. haha. i just write...or type
i feel soo relieved. thank you eddy for helping me with it. :D
so yeah. graduation might be really hot. and i'm wearing a hot green gown. ugh..
oh well. i also have to play at my promotion. but oh well. thats all. haha

..five....

-jessiewang.

[no title]

well today is sunday. and today was the last day of my CYMO Intermezzo Concert.
good times. haha. not a bad concert either.
school is almost over...
a couple more weeks
this blog. i dont know what to talk about.
so ummm. i think thats about it. haha
well im watching harry potter right now. if that intrests you....
but okay
bye.

...[no title]...

-jessiewang

L.A. Angels

Today. 5/13/09 approx. 11:35 pm :
i am just about ready to go to bed. or at least i think so haha :D
umm i guess i can say i cant wait until tomorrow because then
thats is when i leave for my first baseball game and get to skip
school :]]
but i dont really watch baseball because it takes too longg.
maybe i'll catch a ball. or i'll buy a foam finger. should i bring a
camera? i dont know. hahah
oh well i guess im just going to say im excited. and that i shall update
you on tomorrows game... tomorrow when i get back :D

...L.A. Angels....

-Jessiewang

star testing

this whole week except monday has been a minimum day :D
umm
because of testing thats why,
it was pretty simple i think.
i dont think i did too bad.
haha
i hope not at least! :]]
but yeahh nothing really any more interesting.
short blog.

...star testing...

-jessiewang

two days

well letss seee i didnt update yesterday so i think i'll do a two in one.
Sunday:
-woke up and played tennis. boy i lovceee tennis! :D
-and thenn lets see i ate some lunch went to sport chalet. oh i remember i went to costco! :-]
-then at 5 i left for CYMO(claremont youth musicians orchestra) :D
i got back did my homework
oh myssssss yesterdayss celtic/bulls game was soo intensseeee double over timeee :D crazyness
okay
Today:
- went to school HAHA! i wasnt late today :DD
-blah blah school
-library tutor little kiddies
-supposed to be doing homework right nowww
-gonna watch laker game later. HOpe they win lol
-okay end of blog!

....two days....

-Jessie_wang

saturday

Today is saturday.
well for me at least.
i dont know when you'll read this but im writing this on saturday :D
playoffs are pretty intense right now.
i played tennis this morning!
oh my goodness do i love tennis.
then i had orchestra :[ so boring
and thennnn
i ate some souplantation with some orchestra buddies. :]]
then i came home and ive been on the computer ever since
i have a computer disease .. like seriously.
i dont think i can live without it.
but anyways
im playing tennis tomorrow at 8 am
so maybe i should go to bed now...
yeahh
alrights
....tennis is the bomb-diggity. :D....

....saturday...

-jessie_wang

braces

well today was wonderful. NOT
i mean i guess it was alright.
lets see
i started off school going late ahah
if im late next week i get detention each day. GREAT!
ummm blah blah blah
schoool really isnt that intresting.
tomorrow is pick-up trash day
so throw away anythign you dont need.

after school i had an orthodontist appointment.
SUPPOSEDLY i was supposed to be finished today
haha i think.....
oh well but anyways my orthodontist says theres still a couple more times. woohoo.
sigh
(my blogs are getting so long. Why?)
....braces....

-jessie_wang

somethings wrong

hmmm so much for my second blog lol.
well lets see like 2 days ago it was burning hot so why is today kind of cold?
it even drizzled a little
but why is it hot now?
this doesnt make sense.

well the day has been going pretty good for me. umm lets see
for spring break i went to new york and washington d.c.
then i get back and the next weekend i go on a orchestra retreat.
i must say it was fun :D
but heck now im here supposed to be continuing my essay that is due tomorrow
which i only have one paragraph on. uh-oh. poopie.
well then maybe i am making this blog too soon because it is only 4:25
but oh well maybe i wont have time to write this later. but then again....
maybe you dont like to read these. fine by me. whatever.

so i guess i'll have to continue with my essay now.
ughhh toodles.

the weather is crazyyyy.


...somethings wrong...

-jessiewang

hello world.

augh. well today was okay haha i guess. umm i went to school like normal
wasnt on expecting going to the library after but i guess i did. i was the only tutor. -.-
i like tutored 5 kids today. got 0 work done. WONDERFUL. :D
i got home relaxed for a while did my homework.
then after dinner i had oboe class.
barely got home at like 9:30.
and now im here doing a blog while i should be doing a book report that i havent started

but its due on friday.
i think im pretty much screwed.


...hello world....

-jessie_wang