fuck you.

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i dont get you. i dont get all of this. this just makes no sense to me.

i THOUGHT you were one of my closer friends. i guess i was wrong. and by now, when i am realizing all of this, you already know too much about my life for me to let it go. at least you know too much of my high school life? my recent life? all the smaller secrets that i share only with the people i thought were my closer friends.

this sucks. i dont understand you. why you're like this? i just dont get it.

I think the anger has finally set in. I'm actually surprised it took this long. if I were mad from the start, you'd probably be dead already. or I would. oh. and I appreciate the fact that you don't even bother to say one fucking word. sorry. maybe then I wouldn't be so mad. and I have to lose all of this because you wanted a damn pokemon game? that's bull. I'm over this. this angry phase will go by. I'm hurt, andyoure acting like nothing is wrong. Damn. the thoughts running through my head are so unreal. this is awful. I hate. it. so.damn. much. but who reallycares.

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Well that sucks.

i hate this time of year.
this time of year where i probably grow 23409754 white hairs. where i stress but for what. why do i have to stress over something so small. it makes no sense. well, it doesnt make sense to you. but it sure make a lot of sense to me. and everyday i get angry. like what the f**k is wrong with my attitude. i hate it. i wish i could change it. sadly, i cant. and it has taken over my life. but i thats my fault. there isnt anyone at fault here. but me.
i get angry because of you. because you tell me to do every single thing YOU dont want to do. but then when i get angry you get angry and that makes no sense to me. but you dont care if it makes sense to me or not.
and i hate how during this time the worst of me comes out and how all these negative thoughts pop into my head. i hate how i want to die. but isnt wanting to kill yourself just so selfish. yeah. i think so. but how can you not want to if you feel worthless.
i need life to move faster. but we dont always get what we want.
august and september, you will kill me slowly.

shiet man. im like more stressed out this summer than during the school year -_- GAY.

hey you,
it was nice talking to you again. thanks :]
i hope you have a wonderful summmer! :D


i recently have been...i dont know what the write word for it is...but i guess inspired will do. something i have been thinking about for the last..well year. and talking to you...it just clarified everything. all of it. and now, i understand. that these so-called "friends" arent really my friends. but instead, just a colleague.
now everything makes sense.
thank-you.

this entire year...especially the last 3 months i have been longing for summer break. so badly. but now that its here, im already waiting for school year to begin again.